is the cause of my sadness today. You know how I've been whining about nursing for awhile now...how in the months leading up to his first birthday I would tell him: "only 2 more months of this...only 3 more weeks of this...only 6 more days of this" as I was nursing him. He was a HARD nurser - Jake was so easy. Jake was a lot harder to "train" in the beginning but once he got the hang of it, it was such an easy, relaxed, comfortable affair. Zack picked it up in no time flat but it was often a struggle and he was a BITER! Again, the biting was easy to curb with Jake but Zack was much more stubborn.
So, despite looking forward to weaning Z...I felt a little guilty that I nursed Jake for 18 months (one day short, actually.) And I probably would have nursed Jake even a bit longer had I not been 3 months pregnant with Zack, lol. We were down to 2 feedings a day about 2 months ago and down to just a morning feeding for the past month or so. I kind of clinged to that morning feeding even past his first birthday since he was still relatively groggy (at 6 am, who isn't??) So, he didn't put up as much of a fight and we both often got another 30 minutes of sleep.
Yesterday though, for whatever reason, Carlos was up early. So, when Zack woke up, Carlos got him out of his crib and I kept sleeping...no nursing yesterday. I figured this was the best time to make the break from the nursing cycle so today, when he woke up, I took him from his crib directly to his high chair. And honestly, I'm not even sure he noticed that we skipped the nursing.
That must be the part that hurts the most :( That he didn't even really care that we skipped that "us" time. That was my last "only me" tie to him...the last need only *I* could fulfill.
Feel like I'm blowing this up to more than it should be, but I remember feeling the same way with Jake...glad that I wasn't tied to that routine anymore but sad that my baby doesn't need me for *that* part of his day anymore. I know that they both still need me in more ways than I could ever list but still, every step of the way they are growing up more and more and becoming more independent.
This post is less than coherent but felt like being sappy this morning I guess. Sorry for the rambling and not-too-prosaic words...hug your babies tight today.